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Monday, December 31, 2012

From the Desk of Mr. Y. Speed: New Year's Address


Friends, Members, and Zambonimen,

at the termination of the year, in this refulgent winter, it is always a great pleasure to look back on the successful bygone time and to behold the positive effects of our administrative work, which a lot of people knowing very well the sport contributed. However, commencement of the new year is not a moment to rest but to take good resolutions for the advancing twelve months to come.

In my last memo I foreshadowed the deployment of new advancements for the evolution of the sport. Today, I feel very honoured to promulgate the installation of the new discipline to replace Figure Skating and to be called Artistic Speed Skating.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Return of the "Batman"

Yes, Plushenko is back for the gazillionth time. And he wins another Russian Nationals. At the age of 30 no less.
While Plushenko's performances felt more and more deflated since 2006, I thought his LP from the Nats was still a worthy effort.

 Plushenko's LP from Russian Nationals

Yes, it is still a lot of crossovers and two footed skating and he flails his arms like a blind man trapped in a cave full of bats and running for his life but I think I see glimpses of him actually performing again. His arms are less "flaily", spins slightly faster, there are choreographic highlights and attention to music. Compared to his 2010 and especially 2012 performances, I think this is an improvement. I don't know if it will hold up by the time we reach Euro Champs but an improvement nevertheless.

I am happy for him but also anxious. Because in all fairness, he probably has no properly functioning knees by now, nor is his body in any way in top condition. We already know of his health ailments but it is also visible in the performance. How? Because he had to fight for almost all of the landings of the difficult jumps. He doesn't land any difficult jump cleanly. I don't think he ever did since his first comeback. Plushenko always had a tendency to hunch forward when landing but not as pronounced as he does now. The way he lurches forward at every landing makes me question at what condition his knees are in. But he competes and he competes well.

What I find utterly fascinating is not that he can still compete but he can compete with such a consistency that it is mind boggling. I ask you, do you remember at all when the last time Plushenko fell in a major competition? I may be wrong but the last I remember is 2005 Worlds SP. Where he skated with an injury.

He falls? No, never!

He might be deflated in his performances, unclean with jump landings, slow with his spins or flailing his arms like he's chasing off a cave full of bats during step sequences but the incredible consistency and control he shows in every single performance might be just enough to get him on the podium again. And I believe that is no small thing. Especially in skating. I believe Plushenko might be one of a kind.

Friday, December 21, 2012

Skaters Night Out: Figure Skaters and Hockey Players

Let me start off this post by saying, I'm on pretty good terms with the hockey guys at our rink. I also haven't even once been ridiculed for having a skate bag with a fluffy plush ball attached to it. Also, if it wasn't for the sport of ice hockey, there would be at lot less rinks in the world to go to. So, contrary to the stereotype, this is not going to be a tale of rink rivalry. Still, it is fun to observe certain differences between hockey people and figure skaters, so let's take a look at a few things:

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Iconic Programmes I Wish No Skater Would Touch Again

Well, not shockingly, Brian announced that he will change his LP. While I firmly believe that he should not be playing any COP games at this stage of his career in order to score higher PCS (which won't happen anyway with more complex programmes) and that he should skate with a music he feels comfortable with, I still reckon there are some programmes you shouldn't be associated with in any way. Those are the programmes that stand the Bolero Test and the music is almost always associated with the said skater(s). I don't believe there are any statue of limitation on re-using these programmes and the replicas are almost always doomed to fail. However, as with everything else in life, there are sometimes nice exceptions to the rule.
Although it is impossible to have full consensus on such matters, I believe the following are some of those iconic programmes that should never be attempted by any skaters thereafter.

Yagudin - Winter & Gladiator

 Could it be the best male SP pre-COP?

I find the gala version even more dramatic and captivating

I think no top level skater will ever be foolish to re-use Winter competitively, as it is what made Yagudin the darling of millions but we have seen Gladiator attempted a few times before Brian. Maybe Gladiator is not as iconic as Winter, but whenever I hear the music, the only thing that comes to my mind is Yagudin and his feathers in the gala programme, which was even more captivating than the LP.

Torvill & Dean - Bolero
The best death on ice

Rose said it best in her post. Nothing to add further. I am also very saddened to see two boleros this season alone by the top teams. I don't know where Ingo's head is at but Bolero can never work outside dance. It has a very specific rhythm and the feel that can only be interpreted if you're fully committed to it (as in dance). Yes, I did not think Kostner's attempt is successful either (although only seen it once).

Yuna Kim - Tango de Roxanne

 J'adore!

I think a lot of fans would actually suggest other YNK programmes in this context but for me Roxanne is Yuna, Yuna as Roxanne is at her best artistically. I remember Frederic Dambier used this music before, as did Plushenko but it was nothing compared to YNK. Hands off from Roxanne!

Oksana Baiul - Black Swan

Perfect Costume, Perfect Interpretation

I blame Darren Aronofsky and his beautiful movie for the recent explosion of Swan programmes. We have literally been swamped. Do we really need a new Black Swan, when Baiul reached perfection two decades earlier?

G&G - Moonlight Sonata
Their skating was as haunting as the music

I am not a big Beethoven fan but since I was 5, I am a huge fan of Moonlight Sonata. It is the first classical piece I learned to play on the piano. In fact it is the reason I am learning to play the piano. For this reason alone, I don't want any skater/team to attempt this music because doing justice to it is very very difficult. I can't put it into words how G&G achieved it in their LP but this is exactly how this music should have been handled. It is also an iconic moment, as this was their comeback after a long break and they were as captivating as before, if not more. I still remember Cohen's attempt at the Moonlight in 2010 Nationals. Although I love her, this programme was the undoing of her comeback. Nope, Moonlight Sonata shouldn't be touched again. Yes, even the modern versions as Plushenko tried in his 2005 SP.

Lambiel - Poeta

J'adore and J'adore some more

Poeta is the benchmark for all COP programmes. Poeta didn't really need decades to show it stood the test of time. Poeta is hailed as one of the best LPs in COP era by many fans. Also incidentally, Poeta was the programme that finally did the trick in converting my so far uninterested boyfriend into a skating enthusiast (I caught him watching Poeta on repeat, before he eventually "came out" as skating fan). That's how powerful Poeta is, even to the untrained eye. These reasons alone should be enough discourage skaters from attempting it. 
But Mr Morozov is relentless. He doesn't care much for such sentimentality. At least, he should have cared that Poeta is flamenco and hence very difficult to interpret. I think we have already witnessed the doom of Poeta replicas in this season so far.

A&P - Carmina Burana
Fierce couple, fierce interpretation

Carmina Burana was a great vehicle for A&P in order to finally gain that world title. It was an intense, passionate dance, perfectly highlighting the marvellous music. Incidentally, the choreographers also happened to be Christopher Dean. Oh la la!


However, as I said in the beginning of the post, there are always exceptions to the rule. One perfect examples that comes to mind is Prelude to an Afternoon of a Fawn. After Janet Lynn made it eternal four decades ago, Kostner successfully reinterpreted the music in 2010/2011 season. Enjoy..

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Busting Skating Myths: 1927 Pairs Worlds

Granted, this is something most people probably don't know about and it has nothing to do with superstition, but, nevertheless, it is a piece of not quite correct information that has taken on a life of its own. Let me explain.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Skaters Night Out: We all started out as Minnies!


Welcome fellow skating enthusiasts,

today, I want to talk about the transition from passive to active fandom. Those of us who love skating but have never really skated before probably know what I mean. We may have been avid followers for a long time, but never really had the means, proper conditions or even the awareness to have entered the sport at a younger age, i.e. our childhood or youth. As we are advancing in age, there comes a time when we may want to go beyond mere armchair watching and follow our idols out onto the ice to fulfill our own dreams of skating glory. 


Taking a conscious decision of our own free will, we likely are highly motivated and can also rely on disciplining ourselves instead of being driven by outside forces. We also only ever need one size of skates for the rest of our lives (well, almost). That’s the good news. The bad news is, if you belong to the target audience of this post, you’ll have missed out on 2 decades of training and have a lot of catching up to do. Add to that a reduction in agility and flexibility and, of course, the reduced capabilities to develop motor skills, and you have the perfect example of a late blooming adult skater. Such as I!


 Remember? We all started out as Minnies!

This (hopefully frequently) recurring column will feature stories, insights and ideas that come directly from the glamorous world of adult skating. I can only hope to have gathered your interest for future instalments, and if you want to share your own stories and thoughts, I more than welcome you to comment on this post. It’s always appreciated. See you on the ice...

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Yuna Kim, Hugh Jackman and Lots of Sentimentality

In these days, we as skating fans live in our little world, with the general population much oblivious to us or the skaters. So, when I see even a glimpse of skating in the popular media outside the scope of Olympics frenzy, I always get goosebumps.

I remember reading about Russell Crowe congratulating Alexei Yagudin for his 2001 performance to Gladiator back in the day when skating was highly popular, and if I am not mistaken, Crowe also sent him a signed photo or some other memorabilia.


 Skating's very best Maximus

Nowadays, skating is much less visible in popular media than in Alexei's days so doesn't that fact alone make this  little gesture all the more worthwhile?


Thank you Mr Jackman and good luck on your Oscar campaign for Les Miserables..

From the Desk of Mr. Y. Speed - Secret Memo

Memo to all Members
- concerning my new secret official directive to be implemented by every member

It is the time of the year to go into contemplating what can be done to further administer the best to our sport. Let me say that I will deliver the most important ideas in my upcoming new year's address. In this memo, however, I will address a minor yet very important point that will influence and benefit the sport on all levels.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Book Club: Another Show

Другое Шоу "Another Show"
By Evgeni Plushenko

Description: "Another Show" is the autobiographical account of Plushenko's rise to fame in Russia leading up to his victory in 2006 Olympics. It is a detailed story of Plushenko's early years, coming from an obscure town to the city of St. Petersburg as a young skating prodigy and his adolescence sufferings as a result of insufficient finances and emotional isolation, as well as bullying.

My thoughts: I grew up in the era of the male skating's greatest rivalry (in my opinion) and have such a fondness of Plushenko. I am also known to be very keen on Russian drama and intrigues. So what better recipe for me than Plushenko's personal account of his experiences?

Except, not exactly... I tell you why. It all starts very well. I loved reading about Plushenko's early involvement in skating, his move from Volgograd to St. Petersburg at the age of 11 to train with Mishin and being left on his own devices there for much of his adolescence. Although his financial sufferings in St. Petersburg read like a typical melodrama sometimes, his deadpan account does not suggest that they are exaggerated.

On the other hand, having watched a few Russian "dramacumentaries" previously, I was aware of the suspicious circumstances in Mishin's group with respect to bullying among skaters. We all know by now that Yagudin and Plushenko "kinda hate(d) each other" back in the day and there were many raw emotions not only related to the intense competitiveness of each skater.


"We're not that close. We kind of hate each other."

Reading Plushenko's account, it is still surprising to see how far fetched the alleged bullying was. It is also providing a good basis for the trademark fighting spirit in Plushenko to "beat them all" and be the best. Unfortunately, his comparatively impassive tone during the account of his financial misery is dearly missing in his account of the emotional turmoil that he was going through. Even more unfortunately, this was just a precursor to the overblown accounts of his competition against Yagudin or his personal life.

I find it extremely unnecessary to insinuate that Yagudin went to a sport psychologist to be known for doing some kind of Jedi mind tricks on the competition and that was the reason he fell on his 4T in his 2002 Olympic short programme.
Let me introduce you to Yagudin's sport psychologist.

While I appreciated his candidness in certain gossipy aspects, like his behind the doors struggles with his competition or his love life, I also thought it was very disrespectful to share such intimate details for his explanation as to why his marriage with Maria failed (in short "she was crazy jealous and unreasonable, I was very famous and center of attention"). By this point, the story-telling got so immature and chattering, I found myself mouthing Marshall's Oh Honey's over and over again.


In short, an abundance of material that could have been a great coming-on-top skating story gone overboard due to lack of decent editing and ego checking. Still very entertaining and I still love Plushenko. He didn't have me at hello but he had me at Crazy Bird.

 A skater with Johnny Depp's versatility


Sunday, December 2, 2012

Busting Skating Myths: Slaughter on 10th Avenue

Remember two season's ago when Rachael Flatt chose Slaughter on 10th Avenue for her Long Programme? No? Never mind, just note that the general response was that she would probably hardly win a thing with that music. Why? Well, while not a bad choice in itself, apparently, there was one of those skating curses attached to it because there had never been a skater who won a competition skating to that music. The skating world is full of superstition but, lo and behold, that season Rachael Flatt did, indeed, not win a competiton with that Long Programme, which begs the question: Is there some substance to this curse after all?

The answer is: No! Even more so because the curse didn't even exist in the first place. It didn't?
No siree, and allow me to present irrefutable proof directly from the halcyon figure skating days of more than two decades ago:


Evelyn Großmann at the 1990 European Championships in her gold-winning performance. It doesn't matter that the whole competiton did, to put it mildly, under-perform on that day. The fact stands that skating history saw a skater winning with that very piece of music. Case closed.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

From the Desk of Mr. Y. Speed - Memo Nr. 65248b

Memo Nr. 65248b - Concerning new proposal to further monetary savings and attraction of the sport.

Dear Members,

let me commence this memorandum by first submitting the very good news that our sport is undergoing a phase of boom and raising popularity. However, this excellent development also correlates with the number of active participants in the sport. We are all, of course, aware of the problems intertwined with those raising numbers. Namely the increase of costs in all sectors of our expenses. It is clear that the priority arises for immediate measures to be taken.