In all likelihood, most of you have already heard about the most recent open letter from Ottavio Cinquanta and the groundbreaking innovations he puts forward in it, all for the good of the sport, of course. Among other brilliant ideas, he advocates getting rid of the short programme.
That gives me the opportunity to mention that I predicted this at the end of 2012 in one of my Y. Speed columns, which I'm sure you have all followed religiously. Thank you. If not, you see what you've been missing. The unique opportunity to get a glimpse at the ideas of one of the great minds of our time, even before he himself is aware of them.
Let's take a lot at the open letter:
"5. The abolishment of the Short Program. Reason: if almost no
other sports are based on two segments there must be a reason. I would
like to emphasize that the Short Program (2.50'' for every discipline)
is practically skated to make sure that the athletes can perform the
required elements decided. But if the required elements are necessary
the ISU might put them in the so-called Free Program [...]"
Compare that to this memo of Y.Speed:
1. In any discipline the short
and long programme will be summarised into the so called intermediate
programme, which carries over half the technical requirements from the
short programme and combines them with the freedom of the long
The amazing thing is, that when writing an Y. Speed post, I try to think of hilarious, ridiculous and over-the-top ideas and changes to make something funny out of it, a parody of reality. However, what I now came to realise and what Rose (thank you) has told me almost from the get go, he is impossible to parody because he does all the work himself. Whatever you try in that regard, you are, at best, simply imitating him.
How to ridicule a king who can't be satirized?